1. Can I choose my own doctor?

Yes, you can choose your own doctor. If you do not have medical care or insurance, we will assist you in obtaining both.

2. Can I choose the adoptive family for my child?

Absolutely! You will to choose the adoptive family. Each adoptive couple has been carefully screened and has and must have an approved Adoptive Home Study. You will decide if you want to meet them and how much contact you will have after placement. Openness in adoption means openly sharing information about the child. Open adoption means open communication not co-parenting. You will provide for the adoptive family information about your medical history for the benefit of the child. They will openly provide information to you about them.

3. How are adoptive couples screened?

Good question! Adoptive couples will provide the following information to Catholic Charities before they are approved to adopt: Medical history report from a doctor stating that they are healthy and able to adopt, they must have a negative criminal history, domestic violence and child abuse history, a positive financial and work history, letters of reference with evidence of a stable marriage. There are no perfect couples. We are looking for Christian couples who can, with God’s help, work with one another to solve life’s problems and are called to accept children into their family through adoption. The couple will participate in individual interviews, joint interviews and there will be a visit in their home.

4. What will my child think about me? Will the baby grow up thinking that I did not love him or did not care?

If you maintain contact with the adoptive family, the baby will grow up knowing you. The child will learn that you were the mother who provided life and gave birth and provided all of the biological characteristics that make them a unique person and child of God.

5. If I choose adoption, will I be able to see my baby?

You will decide how much contact you wish to have with the adoptive couple and the child. Then you will select an adoptive family that has the same desires. Some birthparents choose to have no contact with the child, many exchange photos through e-mails, maintain contact by phone, still others have visits several times a year.

6. I have other children. Have you had others who have placed a child for adoption and also continued to parent their other children?

Yes! We help women of all ages with different situations and circumstances. Some are pregnant for the first time, while others have experienced pregnancy and are parenting other children.

7. I am the birth mother and do not live in Oklahoma. Will you help me?

Give us a call and we can discuss it. State laws vary from state to state. We should be able to help, but if not, we will help you find someone in your area who can!

8. What about the father? How much will he be involved?

We welcome and encourage all birth fathers to be involved in the adoption plans, if he is willing and it is possible. Sometimes, the father is actively involved and supportive of the adoption plan. Other times, he does not acknowledge the pregnancy and does not want to be involved. At times, we have requested paternity testing. Like you, he will be asked to come to court 7 to 10 days after the delivery to sign the relinquishment papers. Sometimes, he is able to sign papers prior to delivery.

9. Is financial assistance available?

Yes. Catholic Charities may help with medical, housing and clothing needs as long as it pertains to the pregnancy. Any expenses must be approved by the Court.

10. Do I have to pay for legal and medical fees?

No, you will not be responsible for any of the legal or medical fees that are connected with the pregnancy or adoption. However, all expenses paid on your behalf by Catholic Charities must be approved by the Court.

11. Do I have to tell my parents about the adoption?

It is really difficult to tell parents about the pregnancy and your plans for adoption. If you are over the age of 18, you do not have to tell your parents. If you are living with or supported by your parents, it is usually best to include parents in that decision. If you have not told your parents, we can help you.

12. Can I ever get my child back? Is it permanent?

Catholic Charities Adoption Services receives children and asks the Court to put into place the adoptive plan of the birth parent. When you go to Court, you are asking the Judge to terminate your parental rights. It is the job of the Court to determine if this is in your best interest and the best interest of the child. When the Court terminates parental rights, the Judge is convinced that your decision is voluntary, without force or pressure from anyone and there is no fraud. It becomes almost impossible to reverse that decision. The Court honors the request of birth parents to assist them in making a plan of adoption for the child. It is very timely and costly to reverse that decision. The Court determines the best interest of the child. Therefore, think through this decision carefully because it is a permanent decision and one that impacts so many people.

Call us at 918-949-HOPE (4673) ext. 116 or send us an email at adoption@catholiccharitiestulsa.org.